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  • littlebit: Makes sense.
    July 16, 2017, 04:40:28 AM
  • Lepard LLC: Boards will stay open for a place people can find history information longer. I am not allowing anyone to sign up for now because of so many foreginers just wanting to promote their business..
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  • Valor7: I could have worded that better, we talked details, options, the pros and cons of each, in  order to arrive at the best ballot language to present to the voters. Hope that makes this clearer.
    April 15, 2016, 06:36:14 PM
  • Valor7: sorry about the typos still working with just one arm in action
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  • Valor7: Yes and no. We talked details and options until we were blue in the face but I never heardbring it over, it was always the time was not right for the issue to pass. Glad to see the time in now right and I for one shall vote yes on the ballot. I would urge all others to do the sameour county is busting at the seams crimewise and no matter how many bad guys we send off there always seems to someone to replace them. The Sheriff's Office needs the help.
    April 13, 2016, 01:08:35 PM
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  • Lepard LLC: Gene Newkirk Rick I have waited for a Sheriff to bring it to me on what he wanted. I have pushed Mr long for a while to get it to me. He told me he was close to having or done. Now hopefully the people will get to decide on it. I spoke with Steve about this a few times.
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    December 14, 2015, 08:14:53 PM

Author Topic: In response to Freethinker's new shaving item...You guys have it way too easy!  (Read 2722 times)

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Offline kari

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All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in
my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.  So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits.
No melting a clump of wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel
them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you  pull
the hair right off. No muss, no fuss.
How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (Ya think!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out.
It's two strips facing each other stuck together.
Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so
I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees (cold wax, yeah, right).
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin tight and pull.
It works! Okay, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.
I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-Rah, fighter
of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north.
After checking on the kids,  I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini
line, covering the right half of my 'hoo-hoo' and stretching down to the
inside of my butt cheek (yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.....RRRRIIIIIPPPPP!!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
CRAP!!!!

Another deep breath and RRIIPP!!! Everything is whirly and spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???
Breath, breathe...okay, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has  caused
me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch.I am touching wax.
CRAP!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DANG!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.
'Hoo hoo'?? sealed shut!
Butt?? sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, 'please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!'

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!!! Hot water melts wax!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the water should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water  is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement epoxied myself to the porcelain!!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone
put in the bathroom!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.

It's a very good conversation starter.  'So, my butt and hoo-hoo are glued together to the bottom of the tub!!'  There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for  removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me.  She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'are we talking cheeks or hoo-hoo?'  She laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH RIGHT!!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor.

Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with  me when I finally see my saving grace...the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.  What do I really have to loose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.  IT WORKS!!! It works!!!

I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL THERE...ALL OF IT!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline littlebit

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Poor Kari.....
Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous...


“The truth is, everyone is going to end up hurting you. You just have to find the ones who are worth suffering for.”

Offline okie the thread killer

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 &^&&(
I'm glad I don't aspire to be overly well-groomed!
 
I have it on good authority that the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about.

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

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Kari your a b!tch!!
I now have coke running out my nose tears in my eyes,
a sore knee from bang it on the deck and chest pains!!
shit now i just had a coughing fit and threw up a little in my mouth.
BE SURE YOU DON'T RIDE YOUR BIKE FOR A WEEK!! :th_gen129: &^&&(
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Offline mark

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 And I thought accidentally eating a tick the other day was bad.  LOL
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
~Teilhard de Chardin

Offline okie the thread killer

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And how is that going Mark? Feeling okay? And was it a seed tick or fully engorged? Gross I know, but just wondering.
I have it on good authority that the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about.

Offline kari

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Landing strip my a$$!   ;D
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

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Landing strip my a$$!   ;D
You got hair on your hinny?
oops I forgot of coarse you do your Jewish ((*(*& :th_th36_1_15:
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


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Offline kari

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You got hair on your hinny?
oops I forgot of coarse you do your Jewish ((*(*& :th_th36_1_15:
Maynard.... I'm disappointed in you!  You should know better.. only the men have hairy butts.....ewwwww
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

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Maynard.... I'm disappointed in you!  You should know better.. only the men have hairy butts.....ewwwww
I'don't believe you can you show me please. :needspics:
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


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Offline kari

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I'don't believe you can you show me please. :needspics:
You really want to see a man's hairy butt?  I guess you've changed your opinion on prop 8!
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline Eeyore

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speechless but 4 laughter
    "Hey, hey, hey, hey now.  Don't be mean.  We don't have to be mean. because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."      - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across The Eighth Dimension

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

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You really want to see a man's hairy butt?  I guess you've changed your opinion on prop 8!
Send me a note to
 
http://hairy-mail.com/
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


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Offline kari

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And how is that going Mark? Feeling okay? And was it a seed tick or fully engorged? Gross I know, but just wondering.
lmao.....what a thing to be wondering about! lmao...... Hey, now I'm wondering, how in the world does someone accidentally "eat" a tick?  Could it have fallen in his mouth?  Did he think he dropped a piece of food, picked it up and popped it in his mouth without looking?  Did he chew?  Ugh!
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline Eeyore

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And do you have a "hinny?"
You got hair on your hinny?
oops I forgot of coarse you do your Jewish ((*(*& :th_th36_1_15:
    "Hey, hey, hey, hey now.  Don't be mean.  We don't have to be mean. because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."      - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across The Eighth Dimension

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

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And do you have a "hinny?"
NO!! I have a Big hairy ass!! Just ask Becky ;D ((*(*&
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


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Offline kari

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NO!! I have a Big hairy ass!! Just ask Becky ;D ((*(*&
:nopics:
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline Eeyore

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And that he can spell!  ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
NO!! I have a Big hairy ass!! Just ask Becky ;D ((*(*&
    "Hey, hey, hey, hey now.  Don't be mean.  We don't have to be mean. because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."      - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across The Eighth Dimension

Offline Kristi Marie

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Oh please please NO PICTURES! lmao

Offline Law101

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ROFLMAO!!  I am so glad I've never tried the wax!

Offline kari

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ROFLMAO!!  I am so glad I've never tried the wax!
When my daughter read that to me, besides pepsi spewing out of my nose, choking, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe (thought I'd have to use my Lifeline), tears just squirted out of my eyes, I was doubled over in pain, and she read it with such a serious voice!  I posted it here IMMEDIATELY after she emailed it to me (which was immediately after she read it to me)..... all I could think of was "THANK YOU G_D FOR HAVING SOMEONE DEVELOP VEET!"
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC