Shoutbox

Refresh History
  • littlebit: Makes sense.
    July 16, 2017, 04:40:28 AM
  • Lepard LLC: Boards will stay open for a place people can find history information longer. I am not allowing anyone to sign up for now because of so many foreginers just wanting to promote their business..
    December 10, 2016, 05:10:27 AM
  • Lepard LLC: Not sure why didn't look, I may be shutting down these message boards..
    November 17, 2016, 12:42:43 AM
  • ~kathy~: rick why is the timestamp showing up a day in advance?
    September 13, 2016, 12:27:46 AM
  • Valor7: What I tried to say is that the actual money would not be there that quick. But a loan against that would work if they are willing to do that.
    August 08, 2016, 01:51:51 PM
  • Lepard LLC: Why so long before it comes online? 911 took out a loan or bond with the known guarantee payment and began building..
    August 08, 2016, 07:46:34 AM
  • Valor7: Actually no it is not, a dependable Revenue stream will not come on line until the 4th quarter of 2017 so 2018 budget will be up in the air, not quite sure what they will have. By 2019 budget all will be well.
    August 04, 2016, 09:27:17 PM
  • Valor7: You mean that tax that the Commissioners would not put on the ballot for so many years? Strange things happened when the citizens got a chance to vote on that issue.
    August 03, 2016, 06:43:06 PM
  • Lepard LLC: Back up is now available withe the new tax..
    August 03, 2016, 05:01:35 PM
  • Valor7: Thanks a lot Ladies!!
    July 29, 2016, 01:16:13 PM
  • littlebit: ((*(*&
    July 27, 2016, 03:47:52 PM
  • ~kathy~: lol
    July 15, 2016, 09:34:56 AM
  • Valor7: A guy could get killed around here while waiting for backup!
    July 13, 2016, 07:31:58 PM
  • Lepard LLC: You are not alone..
    July 13, 2016, 07:28:53 PM
  • Valor7: I just hate it when I talk to myself!!!!
    July 08, 2016, 12:54:09 PM
  • Valor7: I could have worded that better, we talked details, options, the pros and cons of each, in  order to arrive at the best ballot language to present to the voters. Hope that makes this clearer.
    April 15, 2016, 06:36:14 PM
  • Valor7: sorry about the typos still working with just one arm in action
    April 13, 2016, 01:10:42 PM
  • Valor7: Yes and no. We talked details and options until we were blue in the face but I never heardbring it over, it was always the time was not right for the issue to pass. Glad to see the time in now right and I for one shall vote yes on the ballot. I would urge all others to do the sameour county is busting at the seams crimewise and no matter how many bad guys we send off there always seems to someone to replace them. The Sheriff's Office needs the help.
    April 13, 2016, 01:08:35 PM
  • Lepard LLC: Is that true Valor? Did he ask you what you wanted?
    March 01, 2016, 04:55:37 AM
  • Lepard LLC: Gene Newkirk Rick I have waited for a Sheriff to bring it to me on what he wanted. I have pushed Mr long for a while to get it to me. He told me he was close to having or done. Now hopefully the people will get to decide on it. I spoke with Steve about this a few times.
    March 01, 2016, 04:54:54 AM
  • Kimberly: Wow- I have a new name..........
    February 23, 2016, 10:25:15 PM
  • Lepard LLC: Works on mine, improvements are being done here. I may kick back into her a lot and post but working on different technologies right now. Seeing how things interact.
    January 18, 2016, 09:01:20 AM
  • Valor7: Yes it is working. If you need a laugh the wife showed me how to correctly use the silly thing.
    January 04, 2016, 05:32:59 PM
  • Valor7: Think so, mine is trying to work but it is now user and password protected and I dont know mine
    December 17, 2015, 01:32:16 PM
  • "DJ": Is there still a working android app for the PCSD
    December 14, 2015, 08:14:53 PM

Author Topic: Guido the Italian  (Read 4924 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 10503
  • Karma: +3034109/-159781
  • Gender: Male
  • GOING GREEN: Save a tree,eat a beaver.
    • View Profile
Guido the Italian
« on: July 27, 2010, 05:33:24 PM »

Share/Bookmark

Fort Wood Hotel

Boards

Devils Elbow

Attractions

Sports

St. Robert

Waynesville

PC Daily

Dixon

Menu Guide

Fun Links

Homework

Crocker

Fort Wood

Swedeborg

Big Piney

Laquey

Classifieds

Restaurants

Richland

Fort  Hotels

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time
she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.  The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"

Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to
him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied,
Guido reaches for the woman yet again.  Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping, turns his head, he looks
into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"  Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond, whispers in his ear, "No, I Norwegian".
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Offline darrellmaurina

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 5716
  • Karma: +376322/-7230
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2010, 06:44:58 PM »
Maynard, can we ban you for telling ethnic jokes and perpetuating offensive stereotypes?

Fortunately I don't have to put up with being called a "dirty wop" or a "dirty dago" in modern America, but there was a day that making a joke like this in the wrong place might lead to a knife between the ribs, thereby perpetuating an even worse Italian stereotype. People my parents' age -- that's a bit older than you, Maynard, unless you're in your eighties -- had to put up with anti-Italian discrimination that was just as bad if not worse than what Hispanics have to suffer today, and for many of the same reasons.
Darrell Todd Maurina
Check out the Pulaski County Daily News online newspaper at
http://www.pulaskicountyweb.com
Cell: (573) 433.6733 * FAX: (573) 774-2349
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/darrellmaurina/
Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/darrellmaurina/

Offline kari

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 4880
  • Karma: +1092069/-4886
  • Gender: Female
  • Always looking in.....
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2010, 07:16:09 PM »
DTM, Maynard seems to be an equal-opportunity joke-collector, so I would venture to say he's PC?  He's posted jokes about most, if not all, of the major ethnic groups.
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline Waynesvillian

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 306
  • Karma: +5517/-5539
  • ^^^HAHAHAHAHA^^^
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2010, 08:22:23 PM »
The Guidos on Jersey Shore say Guido is not offensive, they seem smart enough to me to take their word for it :D

Offline darrellmaurina

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 5716
  • Karma: +376322/-7230
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2010, 08:48:11 PM »
DTM, Maynard seems to be an equal-opportunity joke-collector, so I would venture to say he's PC?  He's posted jokes about most, if not all, of the major ethnic groups.

I understand that Maynard is an equal opportunity offender. I'll give him that. My guess is he also enjoys making jokes about his own rural Missouri upbringing and isn't trying to denigrate others, but just thinks these jokes are funny.

My point is that some ethnic groups which are now considered "white" were once treated very badly and subjected to all kinds of offensive jokes and derogatory stereotypes.

We'd be well-advised to give some serious thought to how casually we make offensive jokes about various groups. It wasn't that many years ago that similar jokes were being made against quite different targets, and those targets may have been our parents or grandparents.
Darrell Todd Maurina
Check out the Pulaski County Daily News online newspaper at
http://www.pulaskicountyweb.com
Cell: (573) 433.6733 * FAX: (573) 774-2349
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/darrellmaurina/
Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/darrellmaurina/

Offline kari

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 4880
  • Karma: +1092069/-4886
  • Gender: Female
  • Always looking in.....
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2010, 10:07:13 PM »
 &^&&( DTM, I am WELL aware of the offensive jokes and derogatory stereotypes, as my children and I have been subjected to them for decades.  Hell, some of them are DAMN funny, even to us!  Each ethnic group tells those same jokes amongst themselves. 

Do you know why so many Italian men are called Tony?  Because when they came over as children, it was stamped on their foreheads "To NY".... this was told to me by a Sicilian Italian, from South Philly.

My son recently bought a new home......I went to his house-warming party and using a mixture of a few different ethnic traditions, sprinkled salt, brought a whisk broom, bread and pennies.  My daughter told everyone I was doing "Jew-do".  I said "who do", she said "you do Jew-do".  It was just us making fun of ourselves, as most ethnic groups do.  I'm sure some of his guests are now telling others about the "Jew-do" that I did!  ;D

I've been told so many Jew jokes that had me in tears laughing.  If the joke is told to insult, or cause harm, then it's a different story.

Did you hear about the one where the Bubbe took her Grandson to the shore?  He was sitting on the beach with a shovel and bucket.  A great big wave came along and took the boy out to sea.  The Bubbe looks to the heavens and asks, "G_D why did you take my Grandson?"  She then promises G_D that she will be more observant, keep kosher, give more to charity.  Another wave comes in and there sits the young boy with his shovel and bucket.  The Bubbe looks up to the heavens and asks, "So maybe you could send his hat back too?"

What may have, at one time, been an offensive name, doesn't hold the same meaning today.  Guido use to be an offensive name for an Italian male, just as "JAP" was for a Jewish female.  Personally, I still find JAP to be offensive, BUT now a days it does have a different meaning for many people.  I know of a number of women who LOVE being called a JAP!  I've had men call me JAP, thinking it was a compliment!  After I explained what the name use to mean (and how I take it to mean), there have been a number of very embarrassed men, apologizing.

Don Rickles insulted EVERYONE, equally, and he was one funny guy!





Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 10503
  • Karma: +3034109/-159781
  • Gender: Male
  • GOING GREEN: Save a tree,eat a beaver.
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2010, 10:15:31 PM »
Don Rickles insulted EVERYONE, equally, and he was one funny guy!
Unless Don Rickles just died, He is still one funny guy.
I seen him on Letterman a couple weeks back.
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Offline kari

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 4880
  • Karma: +1092069/-4886
  • Gender: Female
  • Always looking in.....
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2010, 10:27:07 PM »
Don Rickles is like a million years old.... didn't think he was still performing!
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline okie the thread killer

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 4857
  • Karma: +2619917/-766
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2010, 10:52:56 PM »
&^&&( DTM, I am WELL aware of the offensive jokes and derogatory stereotypes, as my children and I have been subjected to them for decades.  Hell, some of them are DAMN funny, even to us!  Each ethnic group tells those same jokes amongst themselves. 

Do you know why so many Italian men are called Tony?  Because when they came over as children, it was stamped on their foreheads "To NY".... this was told to me by a Sicilian Italian, from South Philly.

My son recently bought a new home......I went to his house-warming party and using a mixture of a few different ethnic traditions, sprinkled salt, brought a whisk broom, bread and pennies.  My daughter told everyone I was doing "Jew-do".  I said "who do", she said "you do Jew-do".  It was just us making fun of ourselves, as most ethnic groups do.  I'm sure some of his guests are now telling others about the "Jew-do" that I did!  ;D

I've been told so many Jew jokes that had me in tears laughing.  If the joke is told to insult, or cause harm, then it's a different story.

Did you hear about the one where the Bubbe took her Grandson to the shore?  He was sitting on the beach with a shovel and bucket.  A great big wave came along and took the boy out to sea.  The Bubbe looks to the heavens and asks, "G_D why did you take my Grandson?"  She then promises G_D that she will be more observant, keep kosher, give more to charity.  Another wave comes in and there sits the young boy with his shovel and bucket.  The Bubbe looks up to the heavens and asks, "So maybe you could send his hat back too?"

What may have, at one time, been an offensive name, doesn't hold the same meaning today.  Guido use to be an offensive name for an Italian male, just as "JAP" was for a Jewish female.  Personally, I still find JAP to be offensive, BUT now a days it does have a different meaning for many people.  I know of a number of women who LOVE being called a JAP!  I've had men call me JAP, thinking it was a compliment!  After I explained what the name use to mean (and how I take it to mean), there have been a number of very embarrassed men, apologizing.

Don Rickles insulted EVERYONE, equally, and he was one funny guy!








you do Jew-do, lmao!!!
I had an Italian boss once that was always telling me Italian jokes...I have visited his parents, around the dinner table it was mostly speaking Italian...they were great, and certainly not afraid to laugh.
I have it on good authority that the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about.

Offline kari

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 4880
  • Karma: +1092069/-4886
  • Gender: Female
  • Always looking in.....
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2010, 01:44:25 AM »
Who do Jew-do?  I do Jew-do.  Do you do too? :yahoo:
Proud to have served, US Army, WAC

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 10503
  • Karma: +3034109/-159781
  • Gender: Male
  • GOING GREEN: Save a tree,eat a beaver.
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2010, 02:25:24 AM »
funny thing is Kari, my maiden name is Goodman....could well be, lol
You know what they say Okie..... A Goodman Is hard to find  ;D   :th_gen129:
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Offline okie the thread killer

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 4857
  • Karma: +2619917/-766
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2010, 02:55:01 AM »
You know what they say Okie..... A Goodman Is hard to find  ;D   :th_gen129:

that's what they tell me, but you are one
I have it on good authority that the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about.

Offline ♥♣ ~Maynard~♣♥

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 10503
  • Karma: +3034109/-159781
  • Gender: Male
  • GOING GREEN: Save a tree,eat a beaver.
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2010, 03:10:13 AM »
that's what they tell me, but you are one
Well alrighty then  :wink1a:   ;D
 
Thank you, Thank you very much.
Remember I'm a nudist so when you respond to one of my post yor talking to a naked man  :)


For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Offline tpgunbiz

  • B.M.F.
  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 2455
  • Karma: +687862/-35
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2010, 08:12:19 AM »
I think the world needs to take a few steps away from bieng insulted and instead find humor. I find humor even in the most sad and horrible moments. Its how I get through life. I laugh.
Biscuit

Offline Geezer Glide Taz

  • Land Of The Free, Because Of The Brave
  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 3077
  • Karma: +1004673/-68
  • Gender: Male
  • Riding Vertical Shiny Side Up
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2010, 02:08:14 PM »
Maynard
Keep the jokes coming
Freedom Of Road Riders,
Protecting and informing riders in Missouri
www.midamericafreedomrally.com

Please watch out for Motorcycles on the road
The life you save might be mine

Offline Valor7

  • Registered User
  • ******************
  • Posts: 2543
  • Karma: +190488/-54
    • View Profile
Re: Guido the Italian
« Reply #15 on: December 11, 2010, 02:55:59 PM »
You know what they say Okie..... A Goodman Is hard to find  ;D   :th_gen129:

Well there was Jerry and his sister that beer drinking, Mizzou loving, old timer, you know who I mean old what's her face........words fail me.
JB