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Topics - ♥♥♥Trena♥♥♥

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1
Business Opinion / Essentials Salon (Formerly Tanning Spa)
« on: January 06, 2012, 09:21:49 PM »
Just thought I would let everyone know that there is a new tanning salon opened in the old Tanning Spa place. I have been there and it has been remodeled and it is very nice and clean. Great tanning beds and super nice people.


http://www.facebook.com/myessentialssalon

3
Pulaski Enquirer / Brand new cell phone dropped in the river
« on: May 31, 2010, 04:20:50 PM »
I just got my son a new cell phone for his 16th birthday last week. So he goes floating with his friend yesterday to celebrate his birthday and his friends 17th birthday. I get a call from a number yesterday afternoon that I didn't recognize, it was my son calling from his friends mom's phone telling me that his phone along with several others phone got dropped in the river due to the boat flipping. They said they had them inside 2 ziplock bags along with the adults cigs. Evidentally someone got in the bag for a smoke, and didn't zip the bags back up....and the boat flipped. Of course it's everyone else's fault but his own! You would have thought that he just found out that he had a week to live! I have never seen a kid so distraught about a damn phone! He was actually in tears and totally freaking out at the thought of not having a phone."But Mom, I NEED to text" he says!! I told him that he seriously needs to go to rehab for texting addiction! And he expects me to just buy him another one! I asked him if he would like it handed to him on a silver platter too, lol. Yeah, that didn't go over well either. And of course I hadn't got insurance on it yet. I told him to just use his old Razr until we figured out that to do.I told him that there is a chance that after it dries out that it might work again, but of course since he's 16 now and he knows absolutely everything and the phone is completely fried and a total loss. To make matters worse he is a very far skinned red head and he knows he has to use sunscreen when he's outside for very long.....but did he? Of course not. So on top of it being the end of the world because he has to use his old phone, he has a bad sunburn too. I had to make him go to his room and take a nap!
So while he was napping I looked up how to save a cell that's been dropped in water.
Found lots if good tips. First says DO NOT try to blow dry it because it will just force water down further into the phone. Try to suck out as much water as possible with a vacuum hose attachment. So I did that for about an hour. Got most of the water out, but you could still see moisture in the screen. Then it says to put the phone and the battery in a sealed container of rice until any remaining moisture is gone. So I did that and left it over night and checked it this morning. All the moisture is gone. So i put the battery in and powered it on.....good as new! But my son hasn't come out of his room yet, he's still pouting lol. So I am going to let him mourn the death of his most prized possesion for a few more days before I tell him.
Anyway, just wanted to share my experience in case anyone else ever drops their cell in water.
Maybe next time he will listen to me and not take his phone floating!

4
Pulaski Enquirer / Question for those of you with teenagers
« on: January 29, 2010, 09:24:59 PM »
With the roads being as dangerous as they are right now, especially out here in the rural areas, would you let your teenager go out driving around?

A couple of hours ago two of my son's friends showed up just to visit! As a parent of two teenagers myself I would never allow my kids to go out on these dangerous roads.
My husband and I decided that they are just going to have to stay the night because we are not going to allow these kids to be out on this crap. If their parents want them home they can come pick them up. They are both only 16 and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to them after leaving my home.

5
Tell us your favorite Joke / Cats and Dogs
« on: October 16, 2009, 11:36:37 PM »
What is a Cat? 
Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere.
Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats. 

What is a Dog? 
Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the next room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats. 

6
Tell us your favorite Joke / The pickle slicer
« on: October 16, 2009, 11:33:09 PM »
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed.
He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. 
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" 
"Oh, Bill, you didn't." 
"Yes, I did." 
"My God, Bill, what happened?" 
"I got fired." 
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" 
"Oh...she got fired too." 

7
Tell us your favorite Joke / Bar Phrases (And Translations)
« on: October 16, 2009, 11:27:37 PM »


"You get this one, next round is on me."
(We won't be here long enough to get another round.)

"I'll get this one, next round is on you."
(Happy hour is about to end...beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop, sucker.)

"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
(I have no interest in talking to you, but I want to get your attractive friend in a compromising position.)

"What do you have on tap?"
(What's cheap?)

"I'll have a glass of house white." (Female)
(I'm easy.)

"I'll have a glass of house white." (Male)
(I'm gay.)

"I'll have an amaretto & OJ." (Female)
(I'm really easy.)

"I'll have an amaretto & OJ." (Male)
(I'm really gay.)

"Ever try a body shot?" (Female To Male)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?)

"I don't feel well, let's go home." (Female)
(You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.)

"I don't feel well, let's go home." (Male)
(I'm horny.)

"Excuse me." (Male To Male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)

"Excuse me." (Male To Female)
(I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.)

"Excuse me." (Female To Male)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.)

"Excuse me." (Female To Female)
(Move your fat a**. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, missy, coming in here dressed like a hooker...And get your eyes off my man, or I'll slap you like the "beach" that you are!)

8
Restaurant Opinion / CrossRoads Resaurant in Richland
« on: October 16, 2009, 10:51:19 PM »
Anyone else been there yet?
We ate there twice this week. Buffet both times was very good. Home cooked, hot and only $5.75

9
Pulaski Enquirer / Head Start Program
« on: October 09, 2009, 11:02:36 PM »
Anyone have any info on Head Start around here?

10
Local News / Wreck on T Hwy
« on: April 30, 2009, 12:01:20 AM »
My husband just called and he is stuck on T Hwy behind an big accident.
Anyone heard anything?

11
Lighter News / Wis. teen allegedly steals from cars to pay lawyer
« on: April 26, 2009, 11:46:09 AM »
BELOIT, Wis. A teen allegedly broke into cars to raise money to pay a lawyer to defend him on other charges. A criminal complaint said a resident caught the teen inside his Chevrolet Camaro in his garage about 4:30 a.m. April 16 and tackled him and held him for police.
Officers found a GPS system, nine CDs and seven video games in his backpack. The criminal complaint said he took the items to help pay for a lawyer.
He was charged with felony burglary, possession of burglar tools and bail jumping.
The teen was charged previously with drug possession, disorderly conduct and theft of movable property.

12
Lighter News / Mom-to-be hit by car while fleeing bear is OK
« on: April 26, 2009, 11:44:35 AM »
                 DENVER A pregnant woman who was fleeing a bear when she was struck by a slow-moving car said she would honor the euthanized animal by giving her baby the middle name "Bear."
Ashley Swendsen, 26, said she thought the bear followed her more out of curiosity than malice because it kept a distance of about 10 feet Thursday morning on a hiking trail in northwestern Colorado Springs.
As she ran, she thought, "If it was going to hurt me, it already would have."
Swendsen managed to scramble up an embankment and was crossing the street when she was hit by a slow-moving car. Although she was not seriously injured, she was taken to a hospital as a precaution because she was pregnant.
Police said they're looking for the driver of the car that hit Swendsen. The driver stopped and spoke to her but left before police arrived.
Swendsen said she first spotted the bear as it was coming out of a creek.
"I didn't know what to do, so I just kept walking," she said. "I wasn't going to start sprinting."
But she started running when the bear moved toward her.
The Colorado Division of Wildlife said the chase happened in an area where bears are common. Division spokesman Michael Seraphin said the brown-colored North American black bear was tranquilized and later euthanized after Swendsen identified it.
Swendsen said she was sad to hear about the bear's death.
"Yeah, because the bear spared me, and then it had to die," she said.
Swendsen, who is about five months pregnant, said she doesn't know the sex of her baby but will give it the middle name "Bear" whether it's a boy or a girl.

             

13
National News / Man shot 34 times in head with nail gun
« on: April 26, 2009, 11:43:20 AM »
CANBERRA (Reuters) Australian police released Friday a shocking x-ray photo showing the skull of a murdered Chinese immigrant shot 34 times in the head and neck with a high-power nail gun.
 The body of Chen Liu, 27, was found by two children last year in marshland in south Sydney, wrapped in a carpet and bound with electrical wire.
 Detectives said the weapon used was a standard gas nail gun widely available and used in construction, firing nails up to 85mm (3.3 inches) long.
 "In 36 years, I've never seen a murder of this nature," Homicide Squad Superintendent Geoff Beresford told reporters.
 Liu arrived in Australia in 2000 and was reported missing last year.

14
Lighter News / Facebook surfing while sick costs woman job
« on: April 25, 2009, 10:37:37 AM »
ZURICH (Reuters)   A Swiss insurance worker lost her job after surfing popular social network site Facebook while off sick, her employer said Friday.
 The woman said she could not work in front of a computer as she needed to lie in the dark but was then seen to be active on Facebook, which insurer Nationale Suisse said in a statement had destroyed its trust in the employee.
 "This abuse of trust, rather than the activity on Facebook, led to the ending of the work contract," it said.
 The unnamed woman told the 20 Minuten daily she had been surfing Facebook in bed on her iPhone and accused her employer of spying on her and other employees by sending a mysterious friend request which allows access to personal online activity.
 Nationale Suisse rejected the accusation of spying and said the employee's Facebook activity had been stumbled across by a colleague in November, before use of the social network site was blocked in the company.

15
Lighter News / Man, 84, fights off carjackers with groin kick
« on: April 25, 2009, 10:35:57 AM »
TACOMA, Wash. An 84-year-old man has a black eye, but he still has his car, after fighting off two would-be carjackers. Ted Mazetier said he stopped Wednesday night to help two men with a disabled car when one punched him in the face and demanded his keys. Mazetier said he kicked the man in the groin and the other in the belly. The two men fled as a passer-by stopped to help.
Police later arrested two suspects for investigation of assault.
Mazetier said he'll think twice before stopping again to help someone on the street. He'll be 85 in June.

16
Lighter News / Men find abandoned safe thought to be century old
« on: April 24, 2009, 11:11:12 AM »
TULSA, Okla. Two men said they've found an abandoned safe by the side of some railroad tracks and that it could be more than a century old. Bill Dodd, one of the men who found the safe about a month and a half ago, says it weighs about 4,000 pounds. It's now on display at an east Tulsa sign company while the men decide what to do with it.
The patent dates on the safe range from 1856 to 1907. Dodd says that the safe is rusted shut and its locks have been broken off. He says he thinks there's something inside and that it hasn't been opened as far as he knows.
Dodd said the safe could be auctioned off for charity or the men who found it could open it themselves. He says the latter option probably would require cutting into the safe.

17
Lighter News / One-eyed, 3-legged alligator found on Fla. beach
« on: April 24, 2009, 11:09:21 AM »
SEACREST BEACH, Fla. It sounds more like something out of a freak show: a one-eyed, 3-legged alligator. The gator was captured Thursday morning in Seacrest Beach by Walton County officials. The animal was less than five feet long and had somehow found its way to the beach.
A family visiting from Chicago called it the perfect day at the beach. They learned how to tell apart an alligator from a crocodile.
The rare gator was taken to a safe location and returned without harm to the wild.

18
Lighter News / Man pretending to fall off bridge actually falls
« on: April 24, 2009, 11:08:33 AM »
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below.
The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could urinate.
The 23-year-old stood eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. "He then in fact fell," reads a press release from the Bloomingtin Police Department.
Police from Bloomington and Eagan responded, and the Eagan Fire Department used a chair lift to retrieve the man. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center where was treated.

19
Lighter News / NYC prosecutors: Dad robs, mom drives, kids ride
« on: April 23, 2009, 12:00:49 PM »
NEW YORK Prosecutors said a New York City dad and another man robbed homes while his girlfriend drove the getaway minivan with the kids in tow. The three pleaded not guilty Wednesday to burglary and weapon charges. The Queens district attorney's office said a witness saw the blue minivan outside his home Monday with a woman in the driver's seat and the two men going out his front door.
His sister's apartment in the home had been broken into. A handheld game and $1,500 were stolen.
A police officer saw the same minivan later and arrested the three after seeing the men break into another apartment, prosecutors said.
A 5-month-old and a 4-year-old were in the minivan with the woman at the time.

20
Lighter News / Bra deflects bullet aimed at woman
« on: April 23, 2009, 11:59:35 AM »
DETROIT (Reuters) A 57-year-old Detroit woman avoided serious injury when the underwire on her bra deflected a bullet shot at her from next door, police said.
 The woman, who lives on the West side of Detroit, saw a group of men breaking into a neighbor's house on Tuesday morning. When the men spotted her, one of them fired a shot at her, a police spokesman said.
 The bullet struck the underwire on the woman's bra and that saved her from a more serious injury, police said.
 "It did slow the bullet down," said Detroit police spokesman Phillip Cook. "She sustained injuries but they're not life threatening."
 The woman, who was not identified, was treated at a nearby hospital. The suspects in the shooting drove away.

21
Lighter News / Minn. surgeon needs two tries to remove appendix
« on: April 23, 2009, 11:58:47 AM »
SHAKOPEE, Minn. A state investigative report said a surgeon performed an appendectomy on the same patient twice after he mistakenly removed a piece of fatty tissue instead the first time. The Star Tribune reported that the surgeon realized his mistake two days after the first operation after a hospital pathologist reported what was removed was "not an appendix."
The patient had been complaining of pain and fever and was ordered back for a second surgery.
The by now ruptured appendix was removed, after which the unidentified patient spent 11 days in the hospital with complications from the second surgery.
The Health Department found no evidence the hospital did anything wrong. Complaints against doctors are handled by a separate state agency. The Board of Medical Practice isn't commenting on the case.

22
Lighter News / Miss. woman gets shot in head, but makes tea
« on: April 22, 2009, 11:03:22 AM »
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. A Mississippi woman who was shot in the head not only survived but made herself tea and offered an astonished deputy something to drink, authorities said Friday. Tammy Sexton, 47, remained hospitalized three days after being wounded by her husband, who killed himself after he shot his wife. A bullet struck her squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head, authorities said. She is expected to fully recover.
"There's no way she should be alive other than a miracle from God," said Sheriff Mike Byrd of Jackson County, Miss.
Byrd said deputies were looking for Sexton's husband, Donald Ray Sexton, earlier in the week to give him a document ordering him to stay away from his wife. Court records show he was put on probation for six months on April 9 for domestic violence.
He showed up at their home in rural Jackson County in Southeast Mississippi about 12:10 a.m. Tuesday and confronted his wife as a relative ran next door to call police, the sheriff said.
"She was at her bed, and he shot her right in the head," Byrd said. "Then he went out on the back porch and shot himself."
A deputy was greeted by the woman when he arrived minutes after she was shot with the slug from a .380-caliber handgun.
"When the officer got there she said, `What's going on?' She was holding a rag on her head and talking. She was conscious, but she was confused about what had happened," he said. "She had made herself some tea and offered the officer something to drink."
Byrd said the bullet apparently passed through the lobes of the woman's brain without causing major damage. She was rushed to a Mobile hospital by a helicopter.
While such cases may be rare, a neurosurgeon who wasn't involved in Sexton's case said such an outcome is possible. Medical journals also confirm people have been shot in the head with little or no lasting injury.
"There is a space in the brain where a missile could pass without doing any major damage. Is it possible? Yes. It would be rare," said Dr. Patrick Pritchard, an assistant professor of surgery at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.
The sheriff called the case bizarre.
"You just don't hear of something like this. Somebody gets shot in the head and they're dead," Byrd said.

23
Lighter News / NY woman planning to have dead lover's child
« on: April 22, 2009, 11:02:20 AM »
NEW YORK A New York judge has given a woman permission to harvest her dead lover's sperm so she can still have his baby.
Johnny Quintana was only 31 when he died Thursday of an apparent heart attack.
He had wanted to have a second child with his fiancee, Gisela Marrero, but the only way to make it happen was to quickly collect his sperm, which stays fresh for only 36 hours after death.
A court order was needed because Quintana and Marrero were not yet married.
The Bronx judge said "yes" Friday with only four hours left until the deadline.
Sperm bank staffers then rushed to Jacobi Medical Center, where Quintana's body lay.
Marrero already has a 2-year-old son with Quintana.

24
Lighter News / Judge orders defendant's mouth taped shut
« on: April 22, 2009, 11:00:45 AM »
POCATELLO, Idaho An eastern Idaho judge who lost patience with the disruptive behavior of a defendant ordered court officials to tape the man's mouth shut with duct tape during a court hearing. The unusual move was ordered by 6th District Judge Peter D. McDermott during a probation violation hearing for Nicklas Frasure, 23.
Frasure was convicted of felony theft in 2008, but the judge retained jurisdiction for sentencing depending on Frasure's response to treatment. In October, Frasure was released from a state mental hospital in Blackfoot.
He is accused of violating his probation by not taking prescribed medication.
During the hearing, witnesses told the judge that Frasure's behavior had been strange and erratic since his release from the state hospital. They also said he has not been taking his medication and has been consuming alcohol, factors also contributing to mood and emotional swings.
Probation officer Julie Guiberson testified that Frasure is a threat to himself and others.
During Monday's hearing, Frasure interrupted the proceedings with repeated verbal outbursts and unusual behavior and ignored several orders from McDermott to restrain himself. After another series of outbursts, McDermott told bailiffs to silence Frasure.
The bailiffs then found a roll of duct tape, tore off a piece and put it over Frasure's mouth, according to the Idaho State Journal.
"He's obviously not mentally competent," Frasure's lawyer Kent Reynolds told the judge.
Earlier in the hearing, Reynolds had asked the judge to order a mental competency evaluation for Frasure.
McDermott said he would consider the request, but did not immediately rule on it. McDermott placed Frasure under the jurisdiction of the Idaho Department of Correction. He is being held in the Bannock County Jail awaiting transfer to a state facility. Officials, citing privacy rules, declined to say where he would be transferred.
An Associated Press call for comment, left with the Idaho Judicial Council, was not immediately returned Tuesday. The council investigates all complaints filed against Idaho judges.
The American Civil Liberties of Idaho refrained, for now, from commenting on McDermott's decision to silence Frasure.
"The ACLU of Idaho cannot comment on the specifics of this case," said Monica Hopkins, executive director. "However, on one hand judges have a right to keep order in their court and on the other the defendants have a right to assist in their own defense and be present at trial. Our hope is that judges employ the least restrictive manner of keeping order in their courts."
At the end of the hearing, the judge ordered bailiffs to remove the gag and said he hoped Frasure's condition would improve with being under state custody.
Frasure responded, "You want to arm wrestle?" as he was led out of the courtroom by bailiffs.

25
Lighter News / Could lice prevent asthma?
« on: April 22, 2009, 10:59:57 AM »
  Could lice be the secret to preventing asthma?                  Research on mice shows that those carrying the most lice had calmer immune systems than uninfested rodents, and they said their finding may have implications for studying the causes of asthma and allergies in people.
 The study, published in the BioMed Central journal BMC Biology, adds to evidence supporting the so-called hygiene hypothesis, which holds that the rise in asthma and allergies can be linked to hyper-clean living.
 The idea is that if the immune system is not properly primed in childhood, immune cells can improperly react to harmless triggers such as pollen or bits of dander. Bacterial and viral infections do not seem to be the priming factor, but researchers have been focussing lately on parasites.
 Joseph Jackson of Britain's University of Nottingham and colleagues wanted to test real, wild mice, not hygienic lab mice that had been raised for generations in ultra-clean conditions.
 "Our understanding of mammalian immunology is largely based on rodents reared under highly unnatural pathogen- and stress-free conditions," Nottingham's Janette Bradley, who helped lead the study, said in a statement.
 They trapped mice and studied their immune systems.
 Mice uninfested with the louse Polyplax serrata had much more excitable immune systems than the mice carrying a heavy load of the parasites, they found.
 It might be suppressing the immune system in some way, they speculated, perhaps by transmitting some other parasite or microbe or perhaps in its saliva as it feeds on the blood of its host.
 The hygiene hypothesis holds that the immune system evolved when people were constantly infected by a host of worms and other parasites -- from the mosquito-transmitted malaria parasite to various lice and ticks.
 "Much like laboratory mice, people in developed countries are currently exposed to a very different profile of infections to that encountered by their ancestors," the researchers wrote.
 "It is possible that the immune dysfunctions we see today are the result of immune systems calibrated for a set of challenges completely different to those they now routinely face."
 Humans can also be infested with lice, although the species that affects humans does not affect other animals.

26
Lighter News / Woman attacked by 200-pound wild hog in her yard
« on: April 22, 2009, 10:59:01 AM »
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. Officials said a wild hog attacked a woman in the back yard of her home. St. Petersburg Fire & Rescue reported that a 26-year-old woman was told there was a pig in her back yard Monday afternoon. When she went outside to investigate, the 200-pound animal charged her, cutting the back of her left leg.
Rescuers were able to treat the woman for her injury at the scene. An animal control officer lassoed the hog and transported it to the Pinellas County Animal Control Office for rabies testing.

27
Lighter News / Record attempt reaps 217K texts, $26K phone bill
« on: April 22, 2009, 10:58:06 AM »
PHILADELPHIA Their thumbs sure must be sore. Two central Pennsylvania friends spent most of March in a text-messaging record attempt, exchanging a thumbs-flying total of 217,000. For one of the two, that meant an inches-thick itemized bill for $26,000.
Nick Andes, 29, and Doug Klinger, 30, were relying on their unlimited text messaging plans to get them through the escapade, so Andes didn't expect such a big bill.
"It came in a box that cost $27.55 to send to me," he said Tuesday. He said he "panicked" and called T-Mobile, which told The Associated Press it had credited his account and was investigating the charges.
The two Lancaster-area residents have been practically nonstop texters for about a decade since they attended Berks Technical Institute together.
That led Andes to search for the largest monthly text message total he could find posted online: 182,000 sent in 2005 by Deepak Sharma in India.
Andes and Klinger were able to set up their phones to send multiple messages. During a February test run they found they could send 6,000 or 7,000 messages on some days, prompting the March messaging marathon.
"Most were either short phrases or one word, 'LOL' or 'Hello,' things like that, with tons and tons of repeats," said Andes, reached by phone.
Andes sent more than 140,000 messages, and Klinger sent more than 70,000 to end the month with a total of just over 217,000, he said.
A spokesman for Guinness World Records didn't immediately return messages asking whether it would be certified as a record.
April came as a relief to Andes' wife, Julie, who had found his phone tied up with texting when she tried to call him on lunch breaks.
"She was tired of it the first few days into it," Andes said.

28
Tell us your favorite Joke / Because I'm A Man
« on: January 17, 2009, 01:31:30 PM »
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia
has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and
moan. You're a woman.  You never get as sick as I do, so
for you, this is no problem.


Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I
know, these are the same thing.


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
(applies to engineers  mainly

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day
is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't
...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will
certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to
others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without
it, looks fine. Your  hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just
go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2009, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden
with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to
better understand men.


29
Lighter News / Maker of shoes thrown at Bush swamped by orders
« on: December 23, 2008, 03:50:08 PM »
ISTANBUL (AFP)   The maker of the shoes that an Iraqi journalist hurled at US President George W. Bush has had to take on 100 extra staff to cope with a surge in demand for his footwear, he said on Monday.
                "Between the day of the incident and 1:00 pm today we have received orders totalling 370,000 pairs", Istanbul-based Serkan Turk, head of sales at Baydan Shoes, told AFP.
               Normally the firm sold only 15,000 pairs a year of the model that Muntazer al-Zaidi threw at the US president at a press conference in Baghdad on December 14 to become an instant hero across the Arab world, he said.
               Turk said orders had initially flooded in from Iraq, followed by other Middle East countries and finally from the rest of the world, including for 19,000 pairs from the United States.
               Formerly prosaically dubbed Model 271, the black polyurethane-soled shoes have been renamed Bush Shoes, he said.
 Turk insisted the company was not profiting from the soaring demand to up the factory price from the 27 dollars (19.30 euros) it had been charging, while adding that it was "delighted from all points of view" at its unexpected success.
 Throwing shoes is considered a grave insult in the Arab world, but Turk indicated that they would probably not have done Bush much harm had they hit him.
               "They look heavier than they are," he said. "They only weigh 300 grammes (10 ounces)."
 Zaidi, 29, has been charged with "aggression against a foreign head of state during an official visit," an offence that carries a prison term of between five and 15 years under Iraqi law.
               He is to go on trial on December 31, an investigating judge said Monday, rejecting allegations by the journalist's family that he had been tortured in custody.

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Lighter News / Mom accused of smoking marijuana with teen kids
« on: December 23, 2008, 03:46:37 PM »
MINDEN, Nev. A 39-year-old woman was arrested last week on suspicion of smoking marijuana with her two teenage children. Douglas County sheriff's deputies said the woman was detained after they responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle. Deputies said the woman told them that she was teaching her son to drive, but they smelled marijuana emanating from the vehicle.
The suspect's son, whose age was unavailable, and 14-year-old daughter told deputies they had shared two bowls of marijuana with their mother.
The woman was booked into jail Tuesday on charges of child endangerment, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and possession of a drug.                         The 14-year-old was released to Child and Protective Services, while the boy was placed in juvenile detention

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