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Messages - ♥♥♥Trena♥♥♥

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781
He's done for...no matter what county they move his tail to.

782
Breaking News / Re: Jury duty
« on: July 23, 2008, 05:58:44 PM »
Submit mine too, there's un upcoming trail I'd LOVE to be a juror for!

783
I could be a good actress and pretend to be unbiased, lol. Then hang his a**.

784
I'd love to be on that jury!!

785
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: 20 Things you DON'T say to a cop
« on: July 22, 2008, 05:11:52 PM »
yeah dont say those, bad very bad!!!!  LOL!
Ever had any of those tried on you? lol

786
Pulaski Enquirer / Re: You just can't help but do it can you?
« on: July 21, 2008, 10:05:02 PM »
Nope. I didn't do it. But only because I watched my kids sit and do it for an hour one night, lol.
HAHA, no I didn't

787
Pulaski Enquirer / Re: You just can't help but do it can you?
« on: July 21, 2008, 09:49:22 PM »
Ha, your all dead, I killed you all
You had to have been pushing the button for over an hour to get that far, LOL

788
Pulaski Enquirer / Re: You just can't help but do it can you?
« on: July 20, 2008, 12:43:46 AM »
lol

789
Pulaski Enquirer / Re: You just can't help but do it can you?
« on: July 19, 2008, 12:26:44 PM »
Bet you wish you hadn't huh? lol

790
Things that make you go HMMMM / Ponderables #3
« on: July 19, 2008, 11:47:08 AM »
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

791
Pulaski Enquirer / Re: You just can't help but do it can you?
« on: July 18, 2008, 09:11:13 PM »
Nope. I didn't do it. But only because I watched my kids sit and do it for an hour one night, lol.

792
Amazing!

793
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Logic
« on: July 17, 2008, 08:04:40 PM »
LOL

794
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Logic
« on: July 17, 2008, 07:43:20 PM »
Is there something you'd like to tell us, LOL?
j/k

795
Tell us your favorite Joke / Logic
« on: July 17, 2008, 02:52:42 PM »
Two Arkansas farmers, Bubba and Jimbo, are sitting at their favorite
bar, drinking beer.  Bubba turns to Jimbo and says, "You know, I'm
tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think
 I'll go to the
 community college, and sign up for some classes." Jimbo
 thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.
 
 The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets with the Dean
of Admissions who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math,
English, History, and Logic.
 
 "Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?"
 
 The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed
eater?"
 
 "Yeah."
 
 "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that
you would have a yard."
 
 "That's true, I do have a yard."

 "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a
yard, I think
logically that you would have a house."
 
 "Yes, I do have a house."
 
 "And   because you have a house, I think that you might logically
have
a
 family."
 
 "Yes, I have a family"
 
 "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you
must
have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must
be a  heterosexual."
 
 "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing; you were able to find out
all of
that because I have a weed   eater."
 
 Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves
 to go meet Jimbo at the bar. He tells Jimbo about his classes, how he
 is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.
 
 "Logic?" Jimbo says, "What's that?"
  Bubba says, "I'll give you an
 example. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer"

796
National News / Re: Woman accused of poisoning son is Pa hospital
« on: July 17, 2008, 12:58:25 PM »
I believe so.

797
Tell us your favorite Joke / Hick computer terms
« on: July 17, 2008, 11:19:41 AM »
 
BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern

BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick

BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro

CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps

CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker

CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited

DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers

DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer

FAX - What you lie about to the IRS

HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking

HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos

INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere

MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food

MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers

MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall

MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live

NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test

ROM - Where the pope lives

SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast

SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year

SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
[/td][/tr][/table]

798
Things that make you go HMMMM / Ponderables #2
« on: July 17, 2008, 11:08:08 AM »
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

799
National News / Re: Woman accused of poisoning son is Pa hospital
« on: July 17, 2008, 11:05:20 AM »
What's with people these days? Seems like we are hearing more and more of this type thing happening.

800
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Giraffe Test
« on: July 17, 2008, 11:03:36 AM »
How to tell if the elephant in your fridge is going bad...



You open his trunk and it's full of girlie magazines, lol.
Good one, lol.

801
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Giraffe Test
« on: July 16, 2008, 08:46:45 PM »
Yes I can, and that's how I would make room for him. Just make sure you drink all the beer....so you don't think your crazy when you open the fridge and see an elephant in there!

802
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Giraffe Test
« on: July 16, 2008, 08:38:42 PM »
WOW, I just realized....if the word "fridge" had not been in that post, that could have sounded REALLY BAD! LOL

803
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Giraffe Test
« on: July 16, 2008, 08:37:37 PM »
YES YES.......I think you've finally got it, LOL. First ask him to smear it around inside the fridge, then the elephant will slip right in!

804
You are exactly correct.

805
Obviously you are not a redneck.

Yeah, no kidding, lol.

806
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Giraffe Test
« on: July 16, 2008, 08:04:09 PM »
Gosh, you still don't remember......you open the door, put the giraffe inside and shut the door!
LOL, sorry but I couldn't resist.

807
Tell us your favorite Joke / Re: Giraffe Test
« on: July 16, 2008, 07:53:04 PM »
lol..3rd times a charm, right?

808
LOL, I know what it stands for, but don't know what it is.
Central Processing Unit.

809
10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Huntin".

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

810
Tell us your favorite Joke / Giraffe Test
« on: July 16, 2008, 06:38:25 PM »

 

 
 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
[/color][/font][/font][/font][/font]
Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.





 
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way 
 
 
 

2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator

 


Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
 
 
 
 
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend
except one. Which animal does not attend? 
 
 
 
 
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and

You
do not have a boat. How do you manage it? 
 
 
 
Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the

Professionals
tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

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